Zombie Safety Training

Is your safety training met with incoherent moaning, blank stares, and open-mouthed drooling? You could be inadvertently turning your employees into ZOMBIES!

With guidance from the Centers for Disease Control and Zombie World News, Convergence Training has developed courses that not only help stop you from adding to the zombie horde, but also may just save you from the pending Zombie Apocalypse.

As it turns out, workplace safety practices are also effective tools to keep you from becoming one of the undead. So, in our ongoing effort to add value to your safety training program, we offer the following tips to you.

10 Convergence Training e-learning courses that can help protect you from a zombie attack:

  1. Bloodborne Pathogens – Zombies tend to be biters. And we’re all familiar with the effects of a nasty zombie bite. So protect yourself from the Necro-Mortosis virus by avoiding those oozing contagions.
  2. Slips, Trips, and Falls – Zombies are exceptionally messy. As their scattered entrails create serious slip, trip, and fall hazards, prepare yourself with this video that offers instruction on avoiding these dangers.
  3. Flammable and Combustible Liquids – Zombies hate fire. So, it’s best to have a clear understanding of which workplace liquids make the best improvised torches and flamethrowers.
  4. Personal Protective Equipment – Hard hats are generally a good safety precaution. But they can also help tone down the scent of your tasty, tasty brain. Very helpful.
  5. Hand Safety – Most people think zombies are just brain-thirsty, well….zombies. But many people don’t realize they also thrive on an array of exposed necks and appendages. Your hands will be your best friends when defending yourself with that spare golf club, rolling pin, or table leg. So protect them!
  6. Formaldehyde Awareness – Many zombies may have been previously embalmed. So protect yourself with a little knowledge of the effects of formaldehyde exposure. Running in a serpentine fashion may also be a good idea.
  7. First Aid for Bleeding Emergencies – Fending off zombies can be dangerous work, and can lead to some injuries beyond the pale of simple scrapes and cuts. This first aid could may help, but let’s face it, anything worse than a bruise and you’re pretty much zombie food.
  8. Driving Preparation – Tire irons, flares, and jumper cables aren’t just good ideas for when your car breaks down. With a little creativity, these items could be critical in getting you from your disabled vehicle to that abandoned farm house in one piece. And if this video doesn’t recommend always checking your back seat, it really should.
  9. Emergency Action Plans – Safely preparing for a zombie attack is all about planning. This video will help you and your coworkers map out the best escape routes when the zombies come knocking.
  10. Confined Space Awareness – Hiding from zombies may lead you to closets, storm cellars, and other tight spots. This video will help prepare you for safely barricading yourself until the dawn.

For more information, read the federal government’s zombie survival guide. Also, check out Zombie World News for updates on zombie activity in your area and be prepared to put your zombie survival skills to use.

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5 thoughts on “Zombie Safety Training

  1. May I remind everyone that zombies don't eat brains, they eat flesh!! In any case, wearing hard hats to ward off falling zombie body parts from tall buildings would be a must!!

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